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Flash Movie Review: As Above, So Below
The shine of its skin invited you to choose it. Deeply hued in red with lighter shadows, there was a firmness felt when you picked it up, bringing it closer to your face. As you bit down on the apple, hearing the crisp crunch of it as you drew a piece into your mouth, your anticipation was elevated to meet your expectations for the impending sweet taste to fill your waiting mouth. As you moved the apple back within your eyesight and before your taste buds registered the taste, you saw the horrific sight of blackened, decayed flesh under the skin of the apple. To make matters worse you were not seeing the beginning edges of it but the middle part as your brain registered sour bitterness in your mouth. What I just described to you was an example of disappointment. To avoid this feeling I do as much as possible to avoid any reviews or hype about a movie I plan on seeing to review. Trust me this takes discipline, for I used to be the type of person who was lead through life by my high expectations. I learned the hard way that these expectations were a burden to carry around as they tended to pave a straight road to disappointment. The city of Paris is one of the most beautiful cities I have ever seen. Not a fan of horror movies I was hoping to see some great shots of the city in this horror film. SCARLETT, played by Perdita Weeks (Prowl, Hamlet), was in search of a special object that most explorers only considered to be a myth. Part of a small group of adventurers that included George and Benji, played by Ben Feldman (Cloverfield, Mad Men-TV) and Edwin Hodge (The Purge, Red Dawn); Scarlett needed the help of Papillon, played by Francois Civil (Moliere, Elles), to lead the group deep down into the Catacombs of Paris. It was there she hoped to find the elusive item, but she would also find much more. Let me get right to the point; this horror thriller was one of the worst films I have seen this year. I was stunned by the amateur writing in the script and poor acting. It seemed as if the writers went through their childhood memories of carnivals and Halloween horror houses to just pull out random things to fill the scene, hoping to scare the viewers. I was bored for the majority of the movie; this picture really came across like a cheap knockoff of a knockoff. And the biggest disappointment for me was not getting to see any decent outdoor scenes of Paris. I should have taken the money I used for this film and spent it on a couple of European travel magazines instead.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Purge: Anarchy
Finding an outlet to let go of life’s daily irritations is the way to stay sane in today’s world. Maybe it is just me but it seems as if everybody has shorter fuses these days. I can easily rattle off a variety of incidents where I find myself becoming irritated. There is the person in the theater texting during the movie; the driver who cut me off to be the last one to cross the railroad crossing before the gates came down and I had to sit for over 10 minutes as a freight train went by; the person at the help desk who was of no help in trying to locate where my cashed check was applied; I can go on, but the point is I find a way to release the collection of negative emotions that simmer and boil inside of me. The first thing I do is tell myself I cannot control those things that are out of my control. This has served me well for many years; there is no reason to devote energy to something I cannot change. If that doesn’t work I always have my reliable backup and that is watching a movie. Mmm, I hope no one assumes I must be teetering on the edge based on the amount of films I view weekly. I know what I would become if I did not have a way to release pent-up stress or anger and I have a pretty good idea what the world would look like if everyone held on to their negativity. They would be doing what the people were doing in this horror thriller sequel. ONCE a year the government made all crimes legal and let the citizens participate in an annual purge of the population. Frank Grillo (The Grey, Warrior) played the character Sergeant, a mysterious man who instead of killing people wound up helping mother and daughter Eva and Cali Sanchez, played by Carmen Ejogo (Pride and Glory, Alex Cross) and Zoe Soul (Prisoners), survive the night. This action film was filled with violence and blood. If this movie was to be a true parody or satire, I did not get the full effect because the story made little sense. Sure one could comment on the disparity between the wealthy and poor people depicted in this film but the script had no substance to assist in such a discussion. I found the movie played more like one long video game, just scene after scene of chases and violence. It became a boring experience for me. What I found scarier was the mother who was with her underaged son, sitting near me in the theater. Why would someone bring a child to see this brutal film; what kind of lesson was she trying to teach him?
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Deliver Us from Evil
They are talking though they are standing alone. Without evidence of an earpiece or some other type of cellular device, you search for any visual clue that can help you evaluate the person’s mental state. The hair is disheveled as if a gust of wind tried to steal several strands and the clothes appear to be well-worn, nothing out of the ordinary. Just their slight swaying side to side as if they were pouring their body weight from one leg to the other makes you pause a second before walking past them. I cannot tell you how many times this very thing has happened to me. It is quite ironic that I am one of the more skeptical ones in my circle of friends and yet, I am the one that attracts people who appear to be living in a reality that was somewhat askew. Walking down the street with several friends around me, I will be the one that gets signaled out by a person asking off the wall questions, expecting me to answer in kind. A majority of these encounters tend to happen to me on public transportation. In the past I have dismissed these individuals as addicts or chemically imbalanced; but after seeing this horror movie, I have to wonder now if there was something else going on for those strangers. INSPIRED by a true story, this film festival nominee would not be something I would classify 100% as a horror picture. It was more of a crime, thriller, horror film. Based on the book by New York police officer Sarchie, played by Eric Bana (Star Trek, Munich), this story followed Sarchie and his partner Butler, played by Joel McHale (Ted, Blended), as they were investigating a series of unexplainable acts taking place around the city. I really liked the acting from Eric and especially Joel, who was more familiar to me playing comedic roles. Edgar Ramirez (Wrath of the Titans, Vantage Point) was just as good with his character Mendoza. There were several scenes that worked well with tension and fear. Unfortunately it was not sustained throughout the movie, some parts were just flat. The main reason this film did not work as well as it could was due to the story, there was absolutely nothing new compared to any of the previous movies that involved individuals appearing to be possessed. It was a missed opportunity because there were inklings of this movie becoming a good scary flick. On the other hand I now have something else to think about when a stranger approaches me and that scares me more. There were several scenes that had blood and violence in them.
2 stars
Flash Movie Review: A Haunted House 2
The repetitive irritations in life can be considered the universe’s way of testing us to see if we have learned to let go. Scrubbing down from top to bottom your kitchen after spotting a trail of ants, only to discover the next day they returned, can be upsetting. Maybe you were inflicted with a rash, where you had to apply a topical ointment and take medicine. It finally cleared up in a couple of weeks. Three days later your skin started to itch, heralding the return of the rash and a new round of antibiotics. This past winter was not only hard for me but it was irritating. It seemed like every time I shoveled the snow around my house another storm would come by and I had to redo the sidewalks again. I remember at one point thinking if I could rent a flame thrower, it would be worth it to take care of the unrelenting snow. At least I knew the seasons would eventually change but imagine what poor Malcolm, played by Marlon Wayans (Scary movie franchise, White Chicks), had to go through when he discovered he was being haunted again. In this sequel Malcolm was starting out fresh; he had his new girlfriend Megan, played by Jamie Pressly (My Name is Earl-TV; I Love you, Man), a new house and new neighbor Miguel, played by Gabriel Iglesias (Magic Mike, Days of Santiago). Life was good until Malcolm noticed something was wrong. The basis of this comedy horror movie was to be a parody of several recent scary films. I will say Marlon threw himself into his character, screaming and yelling his way through the physical stunts. At one point it seemed as if Marlon created this picture just so he could see how many times he could be on screen without wearing clothes. Since the movie trailer had some of the better humor, there was very little in this film that produced a chuckle or snicker out of me. I just found the story was one long series of skits, each one getting more ridiculous than the previous one. As for commenting on the directing or camera work, there really was nothing I could offer since this film didn’t pretend to be anything else but what it was–a low level joke fest. Maybe I was wrong to assume Marlon had more to offer, because if he is going to make these movies a continuing franchise, they will become nothing more than a plantar wart that keeps coming back.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Oculus
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul but a mirror reflects what is in the mind. When one looks at themselves in a mirror they may not be seeing an accurate image. One person can only see all the derogatory names they were called when they were younger. Another individual may see the most beautiful person they have ever seen. I have had a love/hate relationship with mirrors that has mostly been hate. I have arranged my classes where the participants can see themselves in the mirrors. It makes sense that people should see what they are doing in class. The added benefit is I do not have to see myself because I know the person in that mirror has a warped perception of themself. There was a summer during my college years where I was greeted in the mirror by someone who had the confidence of Tony Manero from Saturday Night Fever. It did not last long before the image was replaced with a man, who used to carry 85 extra pounds on their body splattered with bruises. I know when I look into a mirror these days I rarely see any feel good attributes. There are days where the mirror tries to be kind and others where it is gloomy; however, I am grateful I have never seen anything sinister like I saw in the mirror in this horror film. Karen Gillan (We’ll Take Manhattan-TV movie, Not Another Happy Ending) played Kaylie Russell who wanted to prove what happened to her and her brother Tim, played by Brenton Thwaites (Home and Away, Charge Over You), had to be something supernatural. I feel I always have to preface my review of horror movies by saying I am not a big fan of them. If this film is any indication I may no longer need to state it. Without gratuitous bloodshed or gross mutilations, I found this movie to be tensely exciting. There was a continuous thread of dread throughout as the story reeled between the adult and childhood versions of the brother and sister. Katee Sackhoff (Riddick, Battlestar Galactica-TV) and Rory Cochrane (Argo, Dazed and Confused) were wonderful as the siblings’ parents Marie and Alan Russell. At one point I felt I was witnessing a psychotic episode, the next a hallucinatory one; all of it made for a mind bending experience where I was fidgeting in my seat with anticipation. I will tell you there were several scenes that made me squeamish and there was blood shown; but on the strength of the script, I know if I had seen myself in a mirror afterwards I would have seen a satisfied moviegoer.
3 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Quiet Ones
It was not a requirement but we all knew non-participation would affect our grade. The professor of my college freshmen psychology class encouraged us to enroll in the volunteer program for the graduate students. I remember some of the studies I volunteered for were interesting. There was one where I was sitting in the waiting room with another volunteer. We had a brief time for introductions before we were called into a room. A lab assistant handed each of us a pen and notepad. We were instructed to sit at opposite ends of the room and write down our perceptions of the other one. Once we were done the supervisor asked us to switch our papers. The facilitator then asked the volunteer to read what I wrote about him. I kept my comments to simple generalizations like he seemed nice, had a hearty laugh. When it was my turn to read aloud I was stunned by his words. He had written things like I did not seem to be very smart, appeared to be uncoordinated. After I finished reading, the person in charge asked me to address any comments I might have directly to the volunteer. Turning to him I let loose with such a profanity filled stream of intense anger that the supervisor could not calm me down until he finally admitted this had been a set up and the other volunteer was a graduate student, who was studying subjects’ reactions. I chose to opt out of the program. The test subject in this horror film inspired by actual events did not have the same opportunity. Jared Harris (Lincoln, Natural Born Killers) played professor Joseph Coupland who was convinced he could scientifically explain the irrational occurrences happening to test subject Jane Harper, played by Olivia Cooke (Bates Motel-TV). Settled in a London estate with his team, the professor had everything documented to film by student Brian McNeil, played by Sam Claflin (Snow White and the Huntsman, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire). But even some pictures could not explain what took place. The film work with its cool retro look created an interesting setting for this story. There were parts that were extremely loud which I could not tell was set by the movie theater or the film. Since I found aspects of the story far-fetched, the scare factor was somewhat diminished for me in this film. It was a shame because I liked the idea behind the story, having a central character trying to bring rationality to irrational acts. I am afraid this movie left me unimpressed. If you want to hear something scary, remind me to tell you about the time at school when they wanted to hook me up to electrodes. There were several scenes with blood in them.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Only Lovers Left Alive
Once two people have a shared history of intimacy together, it will always reappear when one is in the presence of the other. They may have not seen each other in a long time; but as soon as they meet, that oasis of intimate vulnerability floats up from the recesses of their minds to create terra firma. A gentle puff of breath slipping across an ear can remind one how they were being held as they dove into a luxurious sleep. The scent of their hair can bring back the vision of a wide open vista of sun stained cliffs cascading into a deep canyon as both sat close, taking in the majesty of the moment. So knowledgeable of each other’s ways, the two created a world unto themselves that is separate from the reality around then. Two individuals who had this connection in this dramatic romantic film were Eve and Adam, played by Tilda Swinton (The Grand Budapest Hotel, Adaptation) and Tom Hiddleston (War Horse, Thor franchise). Aware of Adam’s despondent reclusiveness, Eve traveled from her home in Tangier, Morocco to be with him in Detroit, MIchigan. With the world around them in decline they had their own little safe haven until Eve’s sister Ava, played by Mia Wasikowska (Jane Eyre, The Kids are all Right), showed up at their front door. This film festival nominated movie grew on me like Spanish moss on a thick humid day. Tilda and Tom were so deliciously good together as the centuries old vampires. The whole cast was strong but I could not take my eyes off the two of them. They were able to convey a feeling, an emotion simply by the turn of the head or the gaze of their eyes. The script was smart and hip with quick spurts of fresh humor. Since some of the characters were vampires, the whole picture had a certain darkness to it; but, there was a subtle lightness that made for deep languishing scenes. I really enjoyed the way the director’s or maybe it was cinematographer’s penetrating use of light sources played with the blackness. Though this film was listed as horror, there was nothing I would consider scary in the traditional sense. If you are squeamish at the sight of blood, no matter the vessel it may be in, then yes there were scenes that had blood. However, I can only think of one scene that might be considered gory. Despite a bit of uneven pacing, by the end of the movie I felt I had visited an old couple who knew each other so well, they did not have to ask how the other one felt, they just knew. Brief scenes of blood were shown.
3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Red State
As you may know I am not a major fan of the horror film genre. Part of the reason has to do with the characters that are employed for the story. I do not find zombies, mutants, vampires or any other such fictional beings to be inherently frightening. Sure their actions may make me squirm in my seat; however, I find reality can be scarier than fiction. When riding public transportation I no longer have my cell phone or MP3 player visible. When there is snow and ice on the road I am scared of aggressive drivers who cut in front or tailgate me, making no allowances for winter conditions. There is another group of people that truly frighten me. Individuals with fanatical, extreme views make me uncomfortable. I have witnessed their hateful actions. As far as they are concerned if you do not follow their beliefs then you are damned. For me this is scarier than any horror movie I have seen until now. In this film festival winning movie, writer and director Kevin Smith (Clerks franchise, Chasing Amy) put his own spin in creating this horror tale. After setting up an online date to meet Sara, played by Melissa Leo (Prisoners, The Fighter); friends Travis, Jarod and Billy Ray, played by Michael Angarano (Almost Famous, Sky High), Kyle Gallner (Jennifer’s Body, Beautiful Creatures) and Nicholas Braun (The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Watch), headed out to meet her for a good time. The boys did not know Sara was part of a radical fundamentalist group that was on the radar of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. This action thriller surprised me with the way it took something that could have easily been in the news and twisted it to a bigger extreme. Besides having the very capable Melissa Leo easily handling her character, I felt the movie received a boost by the presence of John Goodman (Argo, Inside Llewyn Davis) as federal agent Joseph Keenan. If you believe people could not be so extreme with their beliefs then you might not enjoy this action thriller. I found the story credible and could see it taking place, though maybe not to the level it reached; at least I hope so. As a complete film I found a few parts that did not make much sense; maybe it was trying to be satirical and I was not sure. For the fact this was a different take on the horror genre, it kept my interest even with several bloody scenes. Putting the idea for this story in proper perspective, one only has to take a look at our history of the past several decades. I cannot think of any recent horror film that would be scarier than encountering some of the characters in this bloody movie.
2 1/4 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale
Almost every town, neighborhood and village has its own folk tales. In the neighborhood where I grew up there were 2 houses that all of us kids believed were haunted. One house was perched on the corner of my block. Painted in a dark brown color, there were curling vines that creeped up the sides of the house scarring the paint off the wood, leaving the brooding house looking wounded. The other house was a couple of blocks away from our apartment but I never ventured by its rounded gate that had spikes on the top. My friends and I knew not to stop at these houses during Halloween. In my travels I have come across an area’s legends and stories; some had a fun quirkiness to them while others were used to explain the unexplainable. In this adventure fantasy film I loved the folklore presented to set up the story. While a mysterious archaeological dig was taking place in the mountains above the village; young Pietari Kontio, played by Onni Tommila (Last Cowboy Standing) noticed several children had gone missing right before Christmas. This film festival winning movie captured my attention immediately even with it also being considered a horror film. Set in the mountains of Finland, I felt I was transported to the coldness of the town as little clues were being dropped to the viewer, leading us like a lamb to slaughter. I knew no one in the cast, such as Jorma Tommila (Priest of Evil, Sisters Apart) as Pietari’s father Rauno and Tommi Korpela (The Home of Dark Butterflies, A Man’s Job) as Aimo; but it did not matter, it only heightened my belief that I was watching the actual town folk. The story was wickedly dark and amusing at the same time; I just found it creative in a twisted sort of way. Now I have no idea whether this tale was actually based on some true folk legend, but I found it to be a brilliant method to keep the viewer guessing as the plot unfolded. It was amazing to me how the writers took basic things most of us knew or had heard of and turned them into something different with sinister overtones. If you plan on seeing this picture be prepared because there were a couple of gruesome scenes. As some of you know I am not a big fan of horror movies, but I have to tell you I had a great time watching this film. It certainly gave a new meaning to the phrase, “…who was naughty or nice.” There were a couple of scenes with blood that some may find disturbing. Finnish with English subtitles.
3 1/4 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Devil’s Due
My cravings are emotionally based; I fully understand it. I am not physically craving chocolate but experiencing a mental comfort as I consume it. So when I hear about a variety of cravings pregnant women say they have I try to imagine how such a combination of food could satisfy their bodies. Or maybe I am making an assumption and it is an emotional thing for them as much as it is for me. Sure we have all heard of the pickles and ice cream craving; however, there are some that sound so odd to me. One person I knew constantly craved spicy hot foods during her pregnancy, the hot pepper oil and sriracha type of hot. There was someone who prior to becoming pregnant loved mustard; however, as soon as she became pregnant the smell of mustard made her violently ill. I just find it curious why a body, for example, would crave a cheesy corn puff instead of a piece of cheese. I figure who am I to question such things, but in this horror film the cravings took on a sinister outlook. Soon after their honeymoon newlyweds Samantha and Zach McCall, played by Allison Miller (17 Again, Blood: The Last Vampire) and Zach Gilford (The Last Stand, Friday Night Lights-TV), found out they were going to have a baby. As the pregnancy progressed Zach began to notice unsettling changes in his wife that were hard to explain. This scary movie used the found footage technique of filming for the entire movie. This meant there was shakiness to almost every scene, to the point where I wanted to take something for motion sickness; I absolutely disliked it. In addition there were times I sat and wondered who was holding the camera and how could they even film the scene based on the camera angle. The script was poorly written for an unexciting story. I was bored except for a couple of decent special effects, but they were not enough to get me at all excited about this film. Seeing Sam Anderson (Perfect Strangers, Water for Elephants) as Father Thomas and Vanessa Ray (Francis Ha, Not Waving but Drowning) as Suzie, I had to wonder if they were embarrassed for agreeing to do this ridiculous bloody movie. I only pray this film does not procreate and spawn a sequel. There were several scenes with gore and blood in them.
1 1/3 stars
moviejoltz 