Blog Archives
Flash Movie Review: Dark Skies
At home, it is easier to turn up the music volume than to figure out the unexplained noises. This also works when I am driving my car. I think it is due to my imagination. When I hear an unfamiliar sound, my mind comes up with creative reasons to explain it that may not be based in reality. These days when I am home I either have the television on for background noise or I have music playing throughout the house. Unfortunately the suburban family in this suspenseful movie did not have such an option. Keri Russell (August Rush, Waitress) and Josh Hamilton (J. Edgar, Outsourced) played Lacy and Daniel Barrett, parents to two young boys. When a series of unexplained events began taking place in their home, Lacy and Daniel would eventually have to take extreme measures to protect their family. This scary film caught my attention right from the beginning. I liked the way the director built up the suspense, starting out slow with some creative ways of displaying the unexplained occurrences. As with Keri’s past performances which I have always enjoyed, I found her convincing in this role. What was a letdown for me was her chemistry with Josh. For some reason it seemed slightly restrained; I felt they could have been more dramatic as a couple. The use of J.K. Simmons (Juno, The Words) as Edwin Pollard was a lost opportunity. With his acting skills his role should have been bigger. As the story progressed in the last half of the film, I became disappointed with the way the suspense never increased. Based on the beginning of the movie I thought there would have been at least a couple of jump out of your seat type of scenes–it never happened. This film may not make the hair on the back of your neck stand up, but it was entertaining as a mystery. Two brief scenes with blood.
2 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Bad Seed
Every single person born has the capacity to do good or evil inside of them. I came to this conclusion from personal experience, not from a religious belief. There was a family I knew that had two daughters. The oldest girl was the perfect child; a combination of Miss America and a Barbie doll. Her younger sister was the exact opposite; she was unruly and mean. I remember seeing the girls playing with their cousins when the younger sister grabbed an umbrella and purposely poked a cousin in the eye. The girls’ father jumped up to discipline his youngest child. She simply laughed at him. From that moment I always kept a wary eye on that girl, whenever I was around her. How does one explain two girls who grew up in the same environment, but were so completely different? From the bullying I received to the neighbor boy who tried setting his pet on fire, I have seen many evil beings. One of the most lethal types of bad seeds was the little girl in this movie. Rhoda Penmark, played by Patty McCormack (The Master, Frost/Nixon), could be the most perfect child when she wanted to be. After the son of Hortense Daigle, played by Eileen Heckart (Bus Stop, Heartbreak Ridge), was found drowned; suspicions began to surface. Did Rhonda’s parents Christine and Colonel Kenneth Penmark, played by Nancy Kelly (One Night in the Tropics, Jesse James) and William Hopper (Rebel Without a Cause, 20 Million MIles to Earth), harbor a secret about their young daughter? The original cast from the Broadway play reprised their roles for this suspenseful film. Needless to say the acting was outstanding. It was scary the way Patty McCormack would alter her demeanor with a simple look. Some of you may find this black and white film a bit campy; however, it will not take away from the dramatic story. Ironically, when I worked at the same company as my father did many years ago, he used to introduce me as his bad seed son. I now understand why some customers were hesitant to shake hands with me.
3 1/4 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Warm Bodies
Love is coming home where a warm hug is waiting to brush the trying day off of you. Waking up to a gentle protective breath on your neck that kept dark dreams away through the night is love. Comfort in knowing that if you make a mistake it will not diminish one’s love for you. Even the unexpected card filled with caring thoughts is a form of love. Taylor Dayne’s song “Love will Lead you Back” would be apropos to describe this romantic comedy. From the director of 50/50, Jonathan Levine created a funny horror movie that was a relative to the story of Romeo and Juliette. Nicholas Hoult was the unusual zombie named R. On a night of feasting on humans; R became enthralled with Julie, played by Teresa Palmer (The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, Bedtime Stories), after making a meal of her boyfriend. Determined to protect her, R formed an unexpected relationship with Julie that would change the world. But R did not know Julie’s father Grigio, played by John Malkovich (Burn After Reading, Con Air), was the leader of the human zombie killers. I was totally taken by surprise with the smart and witty dialog. Nicholas and Teresa were perfectly matched, adding authenticity to their characters. Playing R’s friend M, Rob Cordday (Cedar Rapids, W.) was wonderful in his role, coming up with some great lines. My only regret was the small amount of screen time Analeigh Tipton (Damsels in Distress, The Green Hornet) had playing Julie’s friend Nora. A very entertaining film that was rated PG-13 had brief scenes of blood and gore. I was completely surprised by this fun movie. Who knew this zombie film came with a big heart.
3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
My introduction to the brothers Grimm was through animated movies. I can remember being perched atop folded coats on my theater seat, so I would have a clear view of the movie screen. Cinderella dressed in her magical ball gown or the poisoned apple that induced eternal slumber for Sleeping Beauty were characters that amazed me, when I saw them up on the big screen. At a time before movie characters were marketed into every conceivable consumer product, I stored a variety of Grimm fairy tale characters in my imagination. Let me first say I am not a purist when it comes to keeping a story true to its original form. If the story can still be entertaining, I am fine with it. Unfortunately this abomination lacked the entertainment factor, besides a variety of other things. The movie updated the story of Hansel and Gretel by turning the brother and sister into adult witch hunters. Sure I get it, nearly cooked in an oven by an evil witch as kids; I could buy into their chosen profession. What I found out of character was having the two talking in a contemporary style, dropping the “F” word freely. It was foolish to have fairy tale characters from olden days swearing like thugs. Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker, The Bourne Legacy) was Hansel and we were led to believe he was a diabetic. He wore a special wristwatch that rang every 2 hours, reminding him to take an injection that would keep him alive. It was so ridiculous I knew the concept was only there to be used later in the boring story. Gemma Arterton (Quantum of Solace, Clash of the Titans) was the sharpshooter Gretel. The two were hired by a town to find a witch that was stealing children. What Hansel and Gretel found was a diabolical plot by the powerful witch Muriel, played by Famke Janssen (X-Men franchise, Goldeneye). In a nutshell the acting was miserable, the special effects were bland, the story was putrid and I resented the movie studio for tarnishing a classic tale.
1 1/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Mama
The middle brother who was the #1 renter of DVD’s in the country was also a master ghost storyteller. My cousins and I would huddle around him at family gatherings as he wove and spun elaborate tales of suspense and surprise. He would slowly build up the stories, shocking us with the sudden appearance of a flame from his lighter or a quick slap of his hands; making us jump in the darkened living room. The most innocent of events would be transformed into a wild frightening story filled with scary apparitions and spirits. What made his ghost stories so good was the way he slowly built up the suspense, taking his audience on an unexpected journey to a different world. These same factors were employed in this darkly hued horror film. There was no slashing of flesh, no spurting of blood needed in making this well done film scary. There were times when the music would give away the upcoming twist, but it was the use of shadows that propelled the tension forward. Uncle Lucas, played by Nikolas Coster-Waldau (Kingdom of Heaven, Headhunters), had been searching five years for his missing nieces, before he was notified they had been found alone in an abandoned house in the wilderness. Lucas and his girlfriend Annabel, played by Jessica Chastain (Zero Dark Thirty, Take Shelter), would help reintroduce the girls into the living world by becoming their guardians. What the couple did not realize was the girls already had a protective guardian. Taking on a different kind of role, Jessica still brought her considerable strong acting skills to her character. Megan Charpentier (Red Riding Hood, Jennifer’s Body) and Isabelle Nelisse (Mirador-TV) were absolutely creepy as the nieces Victoria and Lilly. There was never a time where I jumped out of my seat from fright; however, the tension and suspense kept me captive. It was done in a similar way like my brother used to do with his stories when I was a kid.
2 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: A Haunted House
Laughter is an oil change for a person’s mind and body. There is nothing like laughter to blow away any clouds that have formed in the mind or to release the tightened tissues of the body. Every day I try to find humor in my daily life. Whether it comes out of a profound or ridiculous situation, there usually is a laugh or two to be found. In this movie the humor was expected by spoofing horror films, such as Paranormal Activity. There is nothing wrong to laugh at something silly; I laughed at a couple of scenes in this comedy. Marlon Wayans (Scary Movie franchise, White Chicks) played the boyfriend Malcolm. A big moment was taking place in his life when his girlfriend Kisha, played by Essence Atkins (Dysfunctional Friends, Are We There Yet?), decided to move in with him. Once she arrived things started happening that Malcolm was not expecting. Setting up a house security camera system, the couple hoped to get to the bottom of the unexpected occurrences. This witless movie was mindless. I can appreciate a bawdy (who says that these days?) or body function joke; but after one of them, they lose their shock value for me. As soon as a scene was set, it was obvious where the gag was about to happen. Even casting Cedric the Entertainer (Larry Crowne, Cadillac Records) as Father Williams was mild relief to the monotony. There was nothing original written into the screenplay. Haven’t we already been exposed to most jokes about flatulence or copulation? I am not this curmudgeon sitting in his theater seat, with a flashlight and billy club, ready to pounce on any offenders who are not following my movie theater rules of etiquette. However, this film was rated R and I want to know what the parents in the theater were thinking by bringing their young children to this movie. I just want to scream, “If you cannot afford a babysitter then stay home and read a book to your kids.” The biggest joke to be found is buying a ticket to see this stale movie.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Texas Chainsaw 3D
If Mr. Oscar Mayer and Miss Blackendecker got married and had a child it would be the chainsaw yielding Leatherface, in this bloody movie. After he was done carving up his prey there was enough human flesh that could serve up several courses of steak tartare to a tribe of cannibals. If I did not know better I would have thought this fright flick was a satire of horror movies. There were several scenes where I was chuckling to myself. The movie was so cliched that I could have worn an eye mask and still be able to tell you what each character was about to do. Let us go over our checklist of characters: one buxom female, check; one wild girlfriend, check; one African American, check; one hard chiseled body male, check; and one helpful person who may not be so helpful. The actors must have failed their auditions for the movie The Collection and wound up here. Alexandra Daddario (Hall Pass, Bereavement) played Heather Miller, the sole heir to her late grandmother’s estate in Texas. Joined by her close friends, Heather traveled to her grandmother’s home town; where she would get surprised by what was left for her. That did not even include the extra unlisted asset in the house’s basement. For horror film aficionados, I do not think there was enough scariness in the movie. However, the film was an easy watch; nothing you had to think about or decipher. I do have a question: How did Scott Eastwood (Gran Torino, Trouble with the Curve) get the role of police officer Carl, since it was not his father Clint’s film? Now before you wonder if there was anything positive about the film; I am here to tell you there was not just one thing, there were three. First, the characters I found annoying had spectacular deaths. Secondly, the movie was filmed in Louisiana which helped that state’s economy. And thirdly, there was a surprise satisfying scene at the end of the credits. This movie does not require the use of safety goggles and ear plugs, unless you really want to wear them.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Collection
The first clue on whether a film will be good or not is when the movie studio does not release it for critics to review. It is not because the editing department was trying to clear up a fuzzy looking scene or the sound department wanted to dub in a better sounding scream; the studio wants to make a quick buck before film reviewers bury the picture. Since I do not want to disappoint any of my followers, let me say I took a bullet for you by seeing this atrocious film. Not being my favorite genre and not realizing it was a sequel, I at least expected to be scared. On the contrary, I found nothing surprising or suspenseful in this movie. You may be asking yourself how I would know if I do not usually attend screenings of horror movies. The answer would be I at least can experience suspense and tension on a physcial level and this bloody film did not provide it. What it did offer was enough blood to shut down the American Red Cross for a month and enough dead bodies to keep a tristate region of universities stocked with cadavers for several semesters. Emma Fitzpatrick (The Social Network, In Time) played Elena, a daddy’s girl who sneaked out of the house one night. You know what that meant; she had to be the victim for going against the wishes of her father, played by Christopher McDonald (Requiem for a Dream, Happy Gilmore). Josh Stewart (The Dark Knight Rises, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) reprised his role of Arkin, the only individual who knew where the killer set up shop. Surprisingly I liked the elaborate contraptions created to capture and kill innocent victims; they would make Rube Goldberg proud. Rounding out the cast was the muscle guy, the woman of ethnic background, the character of unknown allegiance and several easily disposable actors. In conclusion I will just say this movie was so bad, I did not get upset with the guy next to me who kept texting throughout the film.
1 1/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Antichrist
Everyone handles death in their own way. My grandfather’s death from a heart attack was a shock to the entire family. His death was the first one I experienced. I found it perplexing; because after the cemetery for the next seven days we all had to meet at my oldest aunt’s house, where it seemed like we were having a party. People kept showing up each day, bringing enough food to share with everyone. For my grandmother’s death it was a different experience. She had dementia and was living in a nursing home for several years. By the time she died, it was more of a relief than sadness for most of us. Death in this intensely graphic movie was overpowering. While making love in the next room the couple’s 2 year old son climbed out his bedroom window and fell to his death. Williem Dafoe (Spider-Man, The Hunter) played the grief-stricken father and Charlotte Gainsbourg (21 Grams, Do Not Disturb) the mother. To deal with their overwhelming loss they traveled to their remote cabin in the woods, to work on their devastated marriage. The loss of their son was the catalyst that brought to the surface the couple’s deep fears, making a bad situation worse. One of the reasons I wanted to see this film was due to Charlotte winning the best actress award at the Cannes Film Festival. Granted her intense acting was painfully exquisite as was William’s; but, the subject matter was outrageous to me. With graphic scenes of sex and bloody violence, I found this movie obscenely indulgent on the part of writer and director Lars von Trier (Dogville, Melancholia). When I wasn’t wincing from some of the violent scenes, I could appreciate the other scenes that were breathtakingly artistic. The loss of a child has to be one of the most painful things in a parent’s life. As the viewer, it was painful to watch this film and I felt I lost two hours of my time.
1 3/4 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Carrie
The reaction I had to this movie may surprise some of you. This happens to be one of my favorite movies and I will explain why. The first time I saw this film I teared up, because I had a secret in common with Carrie. One of my coping mechanisms when I was being bullied in high school was to imagine the perpetrators being placed in a class room, where I had installed special apparatus that would seal the room. From my vantage point I would visualize a couple of water pipes bursting, slowly filling up the room with ice cold water. As the bullies rose closer to the ceiling I could see the panic on their faces and then they died from drowning. I know for some this sounds macabre, but please understand it always stayed as an imaginary fantasy, giving me the strength to return to school the following day. This is one of the reasons I love Carrie and why I am particularly fond of this dramatic thriller. Nominated for an Oscar for her incredible acting, Sissy Spacek (The Help, Coal Miner’s Daughter) played shy high school student Carrie White. With her intensely religious mother Margaret, played by Piper Laurie (Children of a Lesser God, The Faculty), controlling almost all aspects of Carrie’s life, it was hard for Carrie to make any friends. When a prank was put into play to humiliate Carrie in front of the student body, the tormentors had no idea Carrie had a special gift that would be her coping mechanism. Besides Sissy being nominated for an Oscar, Piper was nominated for supporting actress. Director Brian De Palma (Body Double, The Fury) did justice to this movie based on the Stephen King novel. Helping Brian was a solid supporting cast led by Betty Buckley, Nancy Allen, Amy Irving and John Travolta. This by no means was a typical horror film; it was a well crafted tale of high school–for some.
3 1/4 stars — DVD
moviejoltz 