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Flash Movie Review: The Iron Claw
IF I HAD BEEN THE REFEREE and had seen the parent yelling at his son after the game, I would have banned him from all future games. I have been to enough sports games to watch the children of friends and family, and there is always at least one parent who is the aggressive one close to the action. This one father was yelling at his kid throughout the game but did throw out a couple of barbs at the umpires. For me, it simply makes the experience of watching the game uncomfortable. I do not know about you, but I do not want to hear parents reprimanding their children during a game. Even after the game, what could their child have done that warranted such ugly behavior. It is only a game and if the kid is trying their best then that is all that matters, at least to me. It is not like there are scouts in the audience or television deals waiting to bestow riches upon the young child. The dad was tugging at the boy’s jersey while telling him what he did wrong; I found it disgusting. I mean really, talk about an embarrassing moment in one’s life. That father should be ashamed of himself. As you would imagine, it looked like tears were rolling down the boy’s face. I USED TO WORK WITH A woman who pushed her daughter into theater, because it was something she started to do when she was young but could not sustain it. It always made me wonder if there are many parents who try to live their lives through their children. Was that father yelling at his child during and after the game, wanting his son to be just like him; or even better? The person I worked with was constantly driving her daughter to various auditions, photo shoots, and a multitude of stores to find unique items for her to wear so she would stand out. I can still remember the day she told me her daughter decided she did not want to act anymore; this woman was despondent. She walked around the office with such a sad face and as if she had nothing left to live for (my own observation). There was a time afterward where her daughter was in the neighborhood and wanted to take her mother out to lunch. I was hoping in a way that there would have been a moment I could ask the daughter if she had grown up wanting to be an actress, but I decided it was not my place to ask her. I am afraid I do not understand this desire or need for parents to live out their dreams/fantasies through their children. And this dramatic sports biography certainly proves my point. HAVING A SET OF SONS WAS all former wrestler Fritz Von Erich, played by Holt McCallany (Fight Club, Nightmare Alley), needed to finally reach his wish of building a legacy. His desires, unbeknownst to him, also set up a separate more emotional legacy. With Zac Efron (Ricky Stanicky, The Greatest Showman) as Kevin Von Erich, Jeremy Allen White (Fingernails, The Bear-TV) as Kerry Von Erich, Harris Dickinson (Beach Rats, Where the Crawdads Sing) as David Von Erich and Maura Tierney (Beautiful Boy, ER-TV) as Doris Von Erich; this film based on a true story was riveting to me. I had never heard about this family until I saw this movie. I thought the acting was excellent and felt this was one of Zac’s best roles. I still do not know if his body was real, or CGI enhanced; it was so bulked up. The story was an emotional one; I, at times, could not believe some of the scenes I was watching because they had that same air of uncomfortableness I was talking about earlier in this review. After seeing this picture, I am curious to find clips of the actual wrestling family that made a name for themselves in the early 1980’s.
3 ½ stars
Flash Movie Review: Ricky Stanicky
WHILE AT A FRIEND’S HOUSE, THERE was a crash we heard coming out of the kitchen. We both raced to see what happened. On the floor were scattered ceramic pieces mixed with what looked like to me, broken chocolate chip cookies. Over to the side of the mess was their young son. When asked what happened, the little boy said the cookie jar fell off the counter. Their parent asked if they did it and the young son said he did not. I stayed near the kitchen door because I could see where this conversation was going, and I did not want to find myself in the middle of it. I assumed there was going to be crying or wailing soon, so I wanted to make sure I could step quickly out of the room while my friend managed the situation. It did not take long for the crying to start, so I made my exit and sat back down on the sofa. I only had to wait a couple of minutes before my friend returned. We were both amused about the situation, commenting on how most kids’ first response when confronted by a troubling situation is either “I do not know” or “not me.” Granted at an early age, responsibility can be an obtuse concept. I can tolerate a young child not grasping this concept; but not for an adult, who should know better. WHEN I ENCOUNTER AN ADULT WHO does not take ownership of their actions, that is when I have a tough time engaging with them. I worked at a company that had an employee who never admitted to any kind of wrongdoing or inconsiderate action. They worked in a different department than I did, but we all worked close together in a large office. Because I was not a coffee drinker, I was not involved with the perpetual employees who would come out of the kitchen and ask who left an empty coffee pot on the burner of the coffee machine. No one ever confessed to this “crime” as far as I could tell. However, I remember one time walking into the kitchen just as this one employee was drinking the last bit of coffee from a Styrofoam cup the company provided with the coffee. Before they turned to acknowledge me, they quickly tossed the cup into the garbage. We exchanged a couple of pleasantries before they walked out. I noticed there was an empty coffee pot sitting on a burner that was still on. I turned it off before I got my cup of water and returned to my desk. Whenever someone would come out of the kitchen and ask who left an empty pot, I always took a glance at this employee. They never let on that they were the culprit. Granted, in the scheme of things, this is not a major thing; however, if you want to see adults not taking responsibility for their actions in a big way, then you might want to watch this comedy. THREE ADULT MEN WHO KNEW EACH other since elementary school had a friend that was always getting in trouble for them. The friend, however, was not a real person; he was made up. With Zac Efron (The iron Claw, The Greatest Showman) as Dean, John Cena (Freelance, Vacation Friends franchise) as Ricky Stanicky (Rod Rimestead), Andrew Santino (The Disaster Artist, Me Time) as JT, relative newcomer Riley Stiles as Young Dean and Brian Jarvis (The Greatest Beer Run Ever, Daddy Knows Best-TV) as the Police Chief; this film was lucky it had John and Zac in it. The script was a mix of slapstick and lowbrow humor, with some crassness thrown in. I gave John credit for all the situations he was put in which he wholeheartedly took on. Also, he does have a certain screen presence that makes the viewer root for him. With some scenes not being believable to me, I was bored part of the time. I am afraid the writers have no one to blame for this car crash of a story but themselves.
1 ¾ stars
Flash Movie Review: Firestarter
THERE WERE SEVERAL MISSED NOTES, BUT I continued sitting there with a smile on my face. The little girl was playing a song on the piano; something that was unfamiliar to me. Her mother had asked me to sit down and listen to her daughter play, adding she believed her little girl had a gift for playing the piano. That is not how I would have described her piano playing, but I understood she was proud of her daughter. After the girl was done playing, I applauded and complimented her. She thanked me then headed out of the room. I turned my attention back to the little girl’s mother, who was sitting there with the biggest smile on her face and her hands clasped together by her heart. I hoped she was not about to do something that I find annoying, but my hope was quickly dashed. She said, “Isn’t her piano playing exceptional?” I ask you, how could I sit there and not say something complimentary about her daughter’s playing, even if it wasn’t true?” And that is exactly what I find annoying; parents bragging about their children and expecting guests to agree with them. Why put guests in an uncomfortable position by seeking out compliments from them? What guest would not say something favorable about a parent’s child? To me the whole thing is a setup. EARLY ON, I REALIZED EVERY PARENT thinks their child is special and unique. There is nothing wrong with that; I only hope they create a supportive and loving environment for their children. Bragging to me shows a sign of insecurity in a person. Fishing for compliments tells me the person does not have enough confidence to believe in themselves. That is why I find bragging about children distasteful. It puts the child in a compromising position, where they are pressured to perform. I recall the years I took piano lessons, I never asked anyone to listen to me play. In fact, I avoided going to the piano recitals my teacher would hold with all his students. It is funny, I am just remembering a few scenes from the talent reality shows I have seen. Standing on stage is a 20- year-old who is singing off key. The performance was dreadful; yet he felt he did a wonderful job. His parents encouraged him to audition because they said he was such a good singer. I am all for supporting a child’s dreams; but how far does it go when there is an obvious lack of talent. As the judges critiqued the singer, I wondered if the parents had been fair towards their child. Heck, even the parents in this dramatic, horror sci-fi film did not want to brag about their child even though their child was indeed extraordinary. AS THEIR DAUGHTER WAS HEADING TOWARD adolescence, it was only a matter of time before her special talent would get her noticed. This was something the parents were trying to avoid; no one needed to know about their daughter as far as they were concerned. With Zac Efron (The Greatest Showman, The Beach Bum) as Andy McGee, Ryan Kiera Armstrong (The Tomorrow War, Black Widow) as Charlie McGee, Sydney Lemmon (Fear the Walking Dead-TV, Helstrom-TV) as Vicky McGee, Michae Greyeyes (Kissed by Lightning, True Detective-TV) as Rainbird and Gloria Reuben (Lincoln, Who We are Now) as Captain Hollister; this updated version of the Stephen King novel started out poor and remained there. I found Zac to be an odd choice for his character. He was too young looking and his lines were dull. The script tried to freshen up the original story and truthfully there were a few scenes that worked; however, I was bored watching this picture. I liked the musical soundtrack, but obviously that was not enough to draw me into the story. With having an unusual character in the script, one would hope there would be some high exciting drama. Sadly, this flaming film shined as bright as a low ember.
1 ¾ stars
Flash Movie Review: The Beach Bum
THE BEST WAY TO HANDLE IT I have found is to smile, nod your head in agreement and slowly try to remove yourself from them. I cannot guarantee it will always work but it usually will lessen the conversation time and hopefully the person will get bored and move on. Now I am not passing any type of judgment on the individual; they are free to do whatever they want to themselves. I just do not have the patience to listen to someone who is drunk or stoned. What bothers me more is when I feel like I am a captive audience to their utterances. For some reason if a person, who is under the influence of something, enters a train car or bus more than likely they will make their way to me. There must be something about me that attracts such individuals; it is like those people who do not like pets and when they walk into a house that has a pet, the animal makes a beeline to them. The only thing I can do when this happens to me on public transportation is either walk to a different train car or try and move to a different seat on the bus. However, this does not always work. USUALLY AT WEDDINGS OR OTHER SUCH gatherings, I can gracefully extricate myself from the intoxicated person and disappear into the other mingling guests. But guess what happens sometimes? That person winds up sitting at my table. Ugh, it is so annoying when one is trying to enjoy their meal and you have a fellow guest acting silly or nonsensical at the table. I have only experienced this a couple of times where a drunken guest gets so smashed that they hurl whatever they have in their stomach. If it were my celebration I would order a taxi to take the individual home; because trust me, there is nothing worse than sitting at a table full of guests with food and have one person sitting there with soiled clothes, about to pass out. I know there are some people who find amusement in the antics of an inebriated or high individual. Granted some people feel their artistic talent gets accentuated with the help of drugs or alcohol; I honestly don’t know one way or the other. All I know for certain is that I felt like I was being held captive to the meanderings of the drunken and high main character in this comedy. LIVING LIFE BY HIS OWN RULES had given writer Moondog, played by Matthew McConaughey (The Dark Tower, Serenity) some notoriety in the areas he traveled. It didn’t matter if people did not understand as long as they had fun. Also starring Isla Fisher (Confessions of a Shopaholic, Nocturnal Animals) as Minnie, Snoop Dog (Future World, Unbelievable!!!!!) as Lingerie, Zac Efron (The Greatest Showman, Baywatch) as Flicker and Stefania LaVie Owen (The Lovely Bones, Krampus) as Heather; this movie was torturous for me. Matthew as far as I could tell was doing schtick that quickly got tedious. It felt like he was just exaggerating characters he had played before. Or maybe, it was his own persona that he created that he was portraying. I felt the script had no structure that simply went from one event to another with no connections. Even now I have no idea why this movie was given approval by the studio; though, at one point I wondered if this was based on a true story and we would eventually get to a poignant spot that would make sense of the whole story. No such luck; instead I sat there bored out of my brain watching the nonsense on screen. Sitting through this movie was like being cornered by a drunken person who has no regard for my personal space.
1 ½ stars
Flash Movie Review: Baywatch
THEY appeared to know each other but were not friends. Dressed similarly in tank tops and baggy sweatpants; they kept an eye on each other, thinking they were being discreet. I knew better because I would notice the things they did while working out on the fitness floor. Before or after my class I would hang out on the fitness floor to do some strength training exercises. Seeing these two young guys in the same area for several weeks, I started to notice they were not workout buddies; they were competing with each other, attempting to exert their dominance by being the best. What I mean is they would try to out lift each other using free weights. If one guy was doing chest presses, the other would start to do them but with slightly more weight on the barbell. Once the first guy caught sight of his “opponent” lifting more weight, he would stop and add more weight. This pattern would go on until they went from doing 15 reps down to 1; it was comical to watch. THERE is something about some men’s testosterone that pushes them over the edge. Those two guys on the fitness floor are still at it, trying to top each other. Since I am at that between age, between birth and death, I can sit back and just observe some of these antics and shake my head. And trust me it is not just the younger generation; I still get from time to time some older member coming up to me in the locker room and making some lewd comment about me teaching “a classroom full of ladies.” Without being rude, since I am an employee of the fitness center, I find a way to give them a quick response that masks my displeasure and get away from them as quick as possible. I felt the same way about watching this action dramatic comedy. FORCED to do community service former Olympic swimming champion Matt Brody, played by Zac Efron (Dirty Grandpa, Neighbors franchise), thought being a lifeguard would be a no-brainer of a job. That all changed when a dead body washed up on shore. This film loosely based on the television show starred Dwayne Johnson (The Fast & Furious franchise, Pain & Gain) as Mitch Buchannon, Priyanka Chopra (Don franchise, Quantico-TV) as Victoria Leeds, Alexandra Daddario (The Choice, San Andreas) as Summer Quinn and Jon Bass (Loving, All Nighter) as Ronnie Greenbaum. I vaguely remember the TV series but I am sure it was nothing like what I saw in this movie. For me the best part of this film was Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron and the outtakes at the beginning of the credits. One cannot help but enjoy Dwayne’s effort and Zac’s comedic timing. Outside of that the story was overloaded and bulky; sort of like Dwayne’s muscles and Zac’s attitude. The script was awful as it was filled with foul language and sexual references. I did not find it funny simply because more than one or two swear words or sexual innuendos is cheap humor in my opinion. Now there were a few fun sarcastic lines in the script, but there was not enough to entertain me for the duration of the picture. Based on the crowd in the theater, the main purpose for seeing this film as far as I could tell was for the eye candy. No matter how many lifeguards were in this movie, it could not be saved.
1 ½ stars
Flash Movie Review: Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
Weddings bring out the best in some people and the worst in others. What is supposed to be a happy occasion can dissolve into a grudge match between family members or guests. A friend of mine recently told me about a wedding they attended for one of their family members. Evidently there is a cousin who becomes belligerent after having a few drinks. As I was listening to this story I quickly came to the conclusion this cousin was essentially a bully. He wound up trying to pick a fight with a cousin from the bride’s side for no apparent reason; however, that cousin was a black belt in the martial arts. As soon as the drunken bully threw the first punch he was immediately thrown onto his back by the martial arts expert. Family members from both sides rushed to the scene, picked up the cousin from the floor and took him away. That type of entertainment I could do without at a wedding; my experiences have been less dramatic at the weddings I have attended. What I have found at weddings are relatives who feel it is appropriate to ask, not only the bride and groom but other family members both married and single, personal questions about when they will have children or when will they settle down and get married. Or better yet, they will go up to a single person and ask them why they are not married yet as if something is wrong with being single. Oh I just remembered this one wedding I went to where the parents of both the bride and groom hated each other and did not hide their feelings about it to anyone. This is why I said what I said earlier about weddings and the people who attend them. I could easily understand the concerns the family had in this comedy. THE parents of hard partying brothers Dave and Mike Stangle, played by Zac Efron (Neighbors franchise, The Lucky One) and Adam Devine (The Intern, Pitch Perfect franchise), demanded their sons each bring a date to their sister’s wedding to keep them in check from riling each other up. The brothers felt they could find respectable girls with an online ad. Inspired by a true story this comedy came with some strong language. The other thing it came with was a cast that was skilled in comedic timing. Along with Zac and Adam there was Anna Kendrick (Into the Woods, Cake) as Alice and Aubrey Plaza (Dirty Grandpa, Safety Not Guaranteed) as Tatiana. These two women were exceptional in their comedic abilities. There were some laugh out loud moments in this adventure romance but after a while the script turned into a series of crazy events that did not offer anything new for the viewer. If it was not for the cast performing so well, I probably would have been bored through parts of this film. Outrageous, loony with poor judgments and lots of alcohol; some of you may be grateful you did not get an invite to this wedding.
2 ½ stars
Flash Movie Review: Neighbors 2
As I walked into the backyard I could see him out the corner of my eye, crouched down and staring intently at me. He did not move until I called out his name. Immediately after hearing me he sprung up and bounded over to the fence that separated our two yards. He was the youngest of my neighbors’ three dogs and knew he would be getting a back rub once I called out his name. I have even seen him get down on all fours as soon as he hears me pull my car into the garage, for he knows I will be coming out the side door and giving him a back rub. While I was massaging him the neighbor happened to come outside to do some yard work. We talked briefly; he caught me up on the latest news around our neighborhood. He also told me they were thinking of putting up a privacy fence around their yard but they wanted to check with me first and see what I thought about it. I told him I did not have a problem but their dog might get upset; we both had a good laugh over my comment. I have to say I have been very fortunate with the neighbors who live around me. We are respectful and mindful of each other; asking each others’ opinions before undertaking a major project or at least letting others know about repairs that could be intrusive for a short time. I have been lucky that I have not experienced any drama, violence or even out of control loud parties when it comes to my neighbors. There is no way I could live in the type of neighborhood that was in this movie. WITH their house on the verge of being sold Mac and Kelly Radner, played by Seth Rogen (Steve Jobs, The Interview) and Rose Byrne (Spy, The Meddler), only needed 30 more days before the sale would finally close. Unfortunately a lot can happen when a sorority moves in next door to you. This comedic sequel followed a similar game plan to the first film which involved a fraternity instead. I liked what the writers were trying to do here and credit them for allowing Zac Efron (That Awkward Moment, Dirty Grandpa) as Teddy Sanders to shine with his comedic timing. He surprised me with how well he did in this picture. The trailers unfortunately showed several of the highlights in this film so my reactions to the scenes were somewhat subdued. Most of the humor was made up of sight gags; however, I felt the writers could have gotten more punch out of the story if they would have given more focus to Teddy’s household skills. It seems like Zac’s recent film roles make sure he is in some form of undress during them; maybe the movie studios are hoping it will give them better reviews. Fans into that will not be disappointed with this film. My disappointment was due to the story being pretty predictable and similar to the previous film.
2 1/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Dirty Grandpa
The first time I saw a warning label printed on a product, I remember thinking why would anyone want to buy something that could harm them. It was a pack of cigarettes, I recall. The other item I remember were those plastic bags that dry cleaners used to wrap customers’ freshly laundered clothing. Today it seems as if almost everything comes with some type of warning. Some of them make sense like the ones regarding medicine and over the counter drugs. I am someone who wants to know if a drug is going to make me sleepy or loopy. Recently I bought a hot air popcorn popper and there was a warning not to submerge the base of it in water because it could be an electrical hazard. Ok, that makes sense to me. Now there are some product warnings I have seen where I think the manufacturer must be assuming the person buying their product has no common sense. Shouldn’t everyone know to lift up a hot pot by its handles? I absolutely understand companies are afraid they will get sued, but doesn’t the consumer bear some of the responsibility? Wasn’t there something in the news about a person taking legal action against a fast food chain because the hot coffee filled cup they placed between their legs, while driving out of the drive thru, spilled and burned their legs? Regarding movies, each of them comes with a rating which in a way is like a warning about the content of that particular film. None of the current ratings explain the warning one needs before seeing this comedy. HAVING recently buried his wife Dick Kelly, played by Robert De Niro (Joy, Being Flynn), convinced his soon to be married grandson Jason, played by Zac Efron (Neighbors, That Awkward Moment), to take him on a road trip. Their trip would reveal many new surprises. I want to know how the cast which also included Zoey Deutch (Beautiful Creatures, Ringer-TV) as Shadia, Aubrey Plaza (Safety Not Guaranteed, Life After Beth) as Lenore and Julianne Hough (Safe Haven, Footloose) as Meredith could do any type of press tour and not be embarrassed by this movie. This was one of the worst films I have seen in the past year. The script was vulgar, crude, obnoxious and offensive; I could go on. It is astounding that these actors agreed to do this picture, especially Robert De Niro. Sure he can do comedy but why would he set himself up for ridicule. I guarantee you when the time comes to do a tribute to him; this movie will not be included in any of the film clips of his past roles. In regards to Zac, it seemed to me as if he counted on his looks more than his limited acting skills. This movie needed a warning label so innocent people would not spend their money and unwittingly let the studio know it is okay to make a crappy film.
1 star
Flash Movie Review: We Are Your Friends
There is a particular point in a song where the beats per minute begin to reach out and you cannot help yourself from moving. One could be sitting in a nightclub and a certain song comes on that makes you almost unconsciously begin to tap your feet to the beat. There is something primal about being part of a crowd on the dance floor as everyone is moving in their own way to the music thumping out of the speakers. One of the reasons I especially enjoy dance music is because of its lack of structure. Many styles of dance such as a polka or waltz require you to follow a pattern with a partner. When disco came on the scene people really started to let loose as electronic music started coming to the forefront. I do not know if they still hold school dances, but I want to tell you the main reason why I did not like attending them. If you were not part of a popular group more than likely a good portion of your time was spent sitting on the sidelines as you watched your classmates dance in the middle of the gymnasium. The only thing that would make things worse was when a teacher would force a boy to go ask a girl sitting off on the side to dance. Usually he would find some way to make fun of his dance partner to all of his friends. Dance music allows one to let loose with no restraints or restrictions. This musical drama had the right beats to move your feet. LIVING off of odd jobs during the day Cole Carter, played by Zac Efron (That Awkward Moment, Neighbors), just needed to find that one track that could help him break into the world of DJs. Getting to the right track would be a convoluted trek. My two favorite parts of this film were the explanation of the DJ’s job and the soundtrack. I found myself tapping my feet anytime there was dance music playing in this romantic drama. Sadly that was it because this film went nowhere. The script was awful; the entire cast which also included Emily Ratajkowski (Gone Girl, Entourage) as Sophie and Wes Bentley (American Beauty, The Hunger Games) as James was more like sterile stereotypes of actual people. The dialog was lame and I never understood why Cole was taken under the wing of the other DJ. There was something about the events in this film that came across in a calculated way, as if the writers pulled out different emotions from a hat then wrote a scene around them; it came across in a disjointed way. Watching this movie was like dancing with a partner who had two left feet or in my case since I am left-handed, two right feet. Either way it was all wrong.
1 1/2 stars
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